Naughty Norman

After many years of crowing about the behaviour of other MPs, Norman Baker has come under fire from the Parliamentary commissioner for wrongly using taxpayers' money to promote his own party.

You can read all about it in the Argus or go through the ins and outs in the official report into his misuse of public money.

Has to be said Norman's defence that his misuse of public funds was an attempt to save taxpayers money is laughable.

But at least he didn't claim it was all part of an MI5 conspiracy. Makes a change...

Gordon Calling!

As Gordon Brown enters his Winter Of Disc-content, a fresh government line is emerging.

Apparently ministers are complaining that there is a “conspiracy” against Brown.

Sounds like a job for Lewes's own Miss Marple!

The Strange Death Of Norman Baker's Credibility

Great to see Our Norm all over the TV stations on Sunday.

While the Daily Mail fawn over him, Baker came across as decidedly odd on the Andrew Marr Show and Sky News

Spooked

Having fleeced the Daily Mail by getting them to serialise his book on the conspiracy to cover up the murder of David Kelly, Norman Baker is now helping other scammers.

As the Argus reports Norman Baker has helped promote a email scam. No doubt Norman Baker thinks it must be MI5 setting him up and definitely not his own stupidity.

By the way how much has Norman Baker earned from serialising his trashy novel?

Mack The Knife

As news broke of another pensioner assassinated in a knife frenzy, Westminster pundits were left asking if Norman Baker's fingerprints were on the blade that finished off Sir Menzies?

Always quick off the mark, Norman was on Sky News faster than The Mingster could sprint an Olympic 100m to heap praise the fallen one.

Norman Baker Watch remembers that Norman was similarly all over the TV like a rash, after signing the letter of no confidence that finished off their previous leader, Charles Kennedy.

When asked by Sky if he'll be throwing his hat into the leadership ring, Norman commented that it was a "job without long term prospects"...With friends like these.

Should Norman should run for the Lib Dem leadship?

Norman Baker Watch is back

Norman Baker Watch has returned from the summer break, and what a busy week it's already been for Our Norman!

Norman Baker Watch was pleased to see that Norman had his own page 4 special in the Evening Standard, Police could not find any fingerprints on Dr Kelly suicide knife

Interestingly, this flurry of press interest comes just prior to the publication of his book on Dr Kelly's death.

Fuming over Falmer?

Baker must be depressed this weekend having lost his nimbyish fight to stop the Falmer Stadium (something he can add to his list of failures like getting flood defences for Lewes or stopping the Newhaven Incinerator).

No doubt he'll need something to lift his mood - but what would be Norman's chosen pick me up be? Given his past as a wannabe rock 'n' roller, Norman Baker Watch wonders if he ever followed the toking example of the home secretary?

It would explain those wild theories about Robin Cook, 9/11, etc. that Norman's so fond of.

Hangin' on the telephone...

Norman Baker Watch wonders if Norman is waiting expectantly by the phone for that call from Gordon?

What position should Norman take in Brown's 'government of all the talents'?

Westminster blues

Seems the pressure's getting to Norman Baker.

In the latest issue of Viva Lewes, he bemoans the difficulty of trying to be in Westminster and in his constituency at the same time.

"I invariably get it in the neck from someone if there's a key vote in Westminster and an important event locally on at the same time," he wails before revealing that his view is "that MPs are spending more and more time in their constituencies and correspondingly less in Westminster".

That no doubt explains Norman Baker's below average voting record in Parliament.

Hanging out in Canterbury

This week's local elections proved bad news for Norman Baker. While his Lib Dem pals kept control of Lewes District Council they took a beating, losing several seats.

Maybe Norman Baker should have spent more time helping his pals in Lewes than helping out Lib Dems in Canterbury. But given the Lib Dems forgettable performance in Canterbury maybe it was best Baker wasn't around.

Fib and then fib some more

With election day looming Norman Baker's not-so-glorious leader Ming Campbell was talking up his party earlier this week.

In a speech in Watford Ming boasted how his party is one of principle, not fashion. "The other parties may favour fashion over principle. But we won't," he claimed.

Unfortunately Ming's message about principle hasn't got through to Norman Baker and his Lib Dem pals in Lewes. As today's Argus reports Jim Daly, Baker's chosen candidate for the Lewes Bridge seat in the local elections, has been busy telling locals that his party were all for letting Brighton and Hove Albion build a stadium in Falmer.

Strangely the candidate in question seems to have forgotten that local Lib Dems fought tooth-and-nail against the stadium (with Norman Baker's support) and even prompted the formation of the pro-Falmer Seagulls Party.

A lapse of memory or a further example of the Lib Dems sticking to the only principle they know - say anything to win votes?

Quote no more

Norman Baker Watch has previously reported on Norman Baker's use of selective quotations, but the EU may soon be putting a stop to Baker's misleading quoting.

The EU's Unfair Commercial Practices Directive is set to become law in the UK next April and, reports The Times, will ban "practices that impair appreciably the consumer's ability to make an informed decision".

This will, say lawyers, include editing quotes to make them sound supportive when the original quote is not as is often the case in movie ads.

So looks like Norman Baker will have to take those iffy Matthew Parris quotes off his website.

Norman and Gordon

As Norman Baker Watch fans will be well aware Norman Baker has two overriding traits - an obsession with conspiracy theories and a loathing of almost anything enjoyable.

And it's a point not lost on blogger Tom Milner whose essay on the factions within the Liberal Democrats is well worth a read, not least for the mention of how Norman's wing of the party would be more than happy to cuddle up with Gordon Brown.

But, more importantly, could Labour really put up with Norman?

Blood money

As Norman Baker Watch noted a few days back Norman Baker was plugging his theories about the death of Dr David Kelly in his hometown of Lewes the other day.

Unsuprisingly Baker trotted out the same old theories and still can't seem to find any real evidence to support his claims.

However Baker used to event to reveal that he has endorsed another theory from the internet's lunatic fringe - that former foreign secretary Robin Cook was also murdered. The "facts" supporting this latest conspiracy theory is the claim that Cook died on Ministry of Defence land and that he opposed the war. A case of one plus one equals a million then.

But it also has now emerged that Norman Baker has signed a book deal to publish a book about his Dr David Kelly theory. So Baker's theory may have no connection to reality, but at least now he can line his pockets off the back of David Kelly's death.

Doublethink Vicky Pollard style

A contact has kindly sent Norman Baker Watch a copy of the latest leaflet for Lewes from Norman Baker and his fellow Lib Dems, which features a quite amazing piece of doublethink.

The Lib Dems have clearly been hurt by recent criticism of how much Lewes District Council has been recycling (not much it seems). So their leaflet poo-poos the idea that recycling rates matter, insisting that people should look at how little rubbish is thrown away in the area to see how green they are (although surely it's easier to recycle more if you have less rubbish to deal with?).

Confusingly the Fib Dems then accuse the county council of stopping them recycling more than 27% of their waste, even though they say recycling doesn't matter just a couple of paragraphs earlier and would need a minor miracle to recycle 27% of waste in the Lewes district council area at the rate their going.

Norman Baker Watch reckons Little Britain's Vicky Pollard would put their argument something like this:

"Yeah I did no recycling ever yeah, but don't go giving me evils 'cos I'm like so well green, yeah? But yeah, but no, but yeah, but it don't matter if I do recycling or nuthin' 'cos them in da county council they like so ungreen. But I don't care right 'cos I weren't gonna do any recycling anyway 'cos there ain't no rubbish 'round here. And anyway it were all Norman Baker's fault 'cos he just sat there giving me evils 'cos he thinks MI5 are out to get him."

More nutters join the Norman Baker fan club

Norman Baker will be peddling his conspiracy theories about Dr David Kelly once again this coming Wednesday at a meeting in the town of Lewes.

The talk has been arranged by Changing Times, a conspiracy theory group that describes itself as "dedicated to the stimulation of new thinking" on topics such as "metaphysical investigation".

Another bunch of conspiracy obsessives with a rather weak grip on reality, in other words. So Baker will feel very much at home.

In fact Baker's last involvement with this group saw him welcoming a Changing Times talk about how 9/11 was all a Jewish/CIA plot.

Baker's keeness on 9/11 conspiracy theories has also won him fans at The British 9/11 Truth Campaign, who now want to use Norman Baker's name to promote their silly conspiracies and to help them "show how Stop The War cannot deny 9/11 truth".

Good to know Baker's used his time in office to help give weight to make believe and anti-Jewish conspiracy theories.

No doubt Baker and his new pals will be telling us that an MI5 plot is the reason he has failed to get Lewes the money for the flood defences it needs.

New day, new law, usual spin

We need new firework safety laws, Norman Baker informed The Argus the other day.

His call for new laws was a reaction to calls by the Fire Brigades Union for an inquiry into the fatal explosion at Festival Fireworks near Lewes back in December. The blast killed two firefighters and left 12 other people injured.

The police inquiry into the explosion is still underway and so no one knows what, if any, legal changes they will recommend. But rather than see what the outcome of that inquiry is, Norman Baker is already demanding a new law.

And what would this new law do, you might ask? Well it seems Norman Baker doesn't know himself since all he could tell The Argus was that there might be "lessons to learn".

Clearly Norman Baker's following that long parliamentary tradition of demanding a new law without having the slightest clue about what should be in that law.

Another triumph of spin over substance from Baker.

Do as I say, not as I do

Norman Baker’s been doing his bit for the environment this week by distributing a glossy 8-page report to every home in his constituency (oddly piggybacking on the Tory county council’s own self-serving magazine).

Given this Norman Baker Watch thought it should remind Mr Baker of his campaign against junk mail due to the amount of waste that results. A case of do as Baker says not as he does?

By the way Baker’s report was partially paid for by advertising, so if you would rather the money you spend didn’t end up supporting Lib Dem leaflets you might want to give the following businesses a miss:

• The Boathouse farm shop in Barcombe
• Lewes chocolate makers Bonne Bouche
• Seaford Italian restaurant Diella’s
• Boship Farm Hotel & Cromwell’s Restaurant in Lower Dicker
• The White Hart Hotel in Lewes
• South Downs Nurseries and Garden Centre in Hassocks
• Paradise Park Garden Centre in Newhaven

A song for Norman

Given the ongoing trend of music lists on blogs, Norman Baker Watch thought it was high time we had a song for Norman competition.

And with Baker being a bit of a Beatles fanatic, Norman Baker Watch thinks the fab four's Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey should be the song for Norman "Ringo" Baker. You couldn't dream up a more fitting title for our favourite conspiracy theorist MP.

Bet Lib Dem leader Ming Campbell wishes he knew about Baker's favourite band before he made that silly comment about the Arctic Monkeys selling more records than the Beatles. That'll teach Ming to, ahem, let Baker resign.

Anyone else got a song for Norman?

I want to believe

The Ministry of Defence better watch out, Norman "Fox Mulder" Baker is on the case again.

After buying into conspiracy theories about Dr David Kelly and 9/11, Norman Baker is now searching for answers on UFOs.

Baker has posed a host of questions in Parliament on little green men, which the Paranormal & Ghost Society reveals were written with the help of David Clarke, a writer for the Fortean Times.

Another daring investigation from the Lewes MP or further evidence of Baker's increasing obsession with conspiracy theories?

The truth is out there...